This is what the Grace Card that I just pulled says on it.
What is a Grace Card, you ask? Well, it’s like a tarot or oracle deck of cards. They are actually very popular these days in the circles that I am in. The Grace Card deck is by Cheryl Richardson (she’s a NY Times best-selling author, look her up if you are not familiar. You’ll be glad you did!). Many of the Spiritual Teachers and more “open” people have come out with their own decks of cards these days. I have several decks from John Holland, the psychic medium. Each deck has a different theme, with the idea of inspiring or helping you with a particular purpose. Some are quite general and others are more focused.
The idea behind the decks is that you turn to them for guidance when you are feeling lost or challenged, looking for inspiration or whatever. For example, I have recently been struggling with how to be more visible so that I can reach and help more people with my business. I know that I have already reached and helped a lot of people, but I also can feel that there are so many more that need the help and services that I offer.
I know this because I am my target market. What I mean by this is that I used to be who I now should be helping. The struggling adult child watching their parent age, helping them through the trials and tribulations of that and struggling along with them as they face their toughest and final battles. I know what it feels like and I know how you don’t realize that you need someone like me until it’s already too late and you are in well over your head and you have no idea how you will continue to move on, to help them and to survive yourself through all that you face. It’s completely overwhelming and it sneaks up on you.
You take on more and more because it’s only another small task. It’s only some easy thing like mowing their lawn every week, or taking them to another appointment, or bringing them by meals that you’ve been making with them in mind. Maybe it’s getting their groceries while you get your own, doing their laundry, setting up their medi-minder of medications so you feel comfortable that it’s done right.
Likely, it starts out with just one or two of these. Then, you add another one or two and before you know it you have the full list and more that I haven’t even mentioned on your plate!
Still, you feel like it’s your job to do it. After all, they took care of you growing up. They helped you when you needed help with buying a house or moving or raising your kids, or babysitting, or painting the house, etc. etc. You get what I mean. Anytime you needed them throughout your entire life they were always there for you. So, how could you possibly not help them at their time of need?!
We all feel like it’s what we should do. Whether they ask us or not and whether they point it right out to us or not. But really, is that a fair thing to expect of ourselves? Sure, one or two things here and there are really not that hard to take on. It’s when it becomes more and more and there is no end in sight that it really becomes scary. You do it because you should, but you grow more and more tired and cranky and burnt out. Pretty soon you’re no fun to be around with anyone. You ignore that you are feeling this way because there is no one else to help. It’s all on your shoulders. Sure, other people can help out here and there when you are in a bind, but for the long run, it’s our burden to bear. We know that we don’t want to burden others, so we don’t ask for help much less accept it even when they offer it.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we let this happen to our friends and siblings when we see it happening to them? Why do people get sucked into this endless downward spiral? And what in the world does it possibly have to do with something called a Grace Card?!
It goes back to my current struggle for visibility and my desire to reach and help more people. I pulled a card for guidance on what I should do and that card says: “Step into the light. You are a gift to the world.”
To me this means my quest for more visibility is exactly what I need to be doing. So here I am, stepping into the light by writing this post.
The “you are a gift to the world” part reminds me of my Rotary family. This past year’s District 7870 theme was “Be a Gift to the World”. Is this a coincidence? I think not! Not for me. I don’t really believe in coincidences. To me, everything has a meaning. Some things are simple to notice and figure out, others are not.
Has it solved my dilemma of what should be my next step? No. Not really, but I’ll sit with it and figure it out. At least now I have guidance and direction.
One thing I can do is ask all of you reading this to pass it on to your friends and family. Perhaps reading what I have written about the dilemma facing many adult children as their parents’ age will do the trick.
We all go through these things eventually, you see. That is why I call them “The Eventuals of Life” TM.
If you pass this along, it will be a part of me stepping out into the light to let people know that they are not alone on their journey. I am here to help and I completely understand what they are going through. It is my gift to them, to help them understand that it’s okay. They do not have to do this alone. I help them understand their roles as advocates for their loved ones, how to communicate better with their loved ones and the various care providers they encounter along the way; how to be great caregivers by making sure they find balance in their own lives and don’t just take it all on; how to manage the various crises that come up; how to handle and move through the horrible things like terminal illness diagnoses and when their loved one eventually passes and what will come afterward for them to handle besides the grieving (and I can help with that part too!).
So, yes, I help with all of the things that nobody really wants to think about or talk about, but none of us escape experiencing. That’s my gift to the world. What’s yours?
Thank you for helping me step into the light by passing this on to your friends and family. To find out more you can check out my website at www.donnadeos.com . (Yes, I still use the www when I write it because many of my clients are seniors who appreciate the extra bit of guidance and explanation! And, then there’s no excuse for not finding my site!)
Have a great day and thanks again for your help!